1. The Clueless Player. First you have the 50% of players that just don't understand the game -- the math, position, starting hand values, who is in the hand with them, etc. -- they just see K9o at a 10 handed limit holdem table and limp with it UTG, capped back to them and stay in with a non-nut gutshot to the river on a paired flush board.
2. The Tight Preflop Grouch. This player has rigid, inflexible, starting hand requirements. He cannot adjust to a loose table, cannot play 54s for 2 bets with 7 players in the pot, etc. Invariably he raises KK UTG and loses to a flush or a straight when 6 people see the flop on a 568 2 flush board and then bitches for a while about the game being bingo. He then actually tightens up his hand selection even more. He cannot understand why he is a losing player.
3. The Maniacal Gambler. This player always loves to create action, and may actually know how to play well, but cannot ever control himself for an entire session. He may play solid for a few hours here and there, but he always cracks and splashes chips onto everyone's stacks before the night is over.
4. The Player That Continues to Amaze Me (and thank god for him) -- The Tilter, The Steamer. This player actually understands how to play fairly well but cannot ever fathom how a bad player can win a pot against him. He plays AdKd in EP and gets 2 callers, one being a clueless player with 25o. Flop is KsQd5d with a final board of KQ5A5 rainbow and off he goes for a while, completely losing his focus and tilting off chips. I'll often t
ry and nail another bad beat on this player to set him off further or casually mention to 25o how he called all the way within earshot of Mr. AK.It amazes me. There are usually 2 players at the table who could be winning players if they took their emotions out of the game, but they can't. At some level they must understand that a losing player having a big session is a good thing. You don't win monster pots by rivering a 2 outer without giving it all back in the future. I am never upset seeing a crazy clueless player hitting a huge session, especially in an underground game where he will give it all back the very next session. Sure, it's frustrating at times being down 10-15bb in a given session and seeing a K8o UTG up 50bb, but you have to remember who gave you your bankroll in the first place and that noone wins every session. These players even see me winning a majority of my sessions, see me taking bad beats, see me not being affected by it whatsoever -- but they refuse to apply that same discipline to their game, just as K8o refuses to see the winning players around him and adjust his game at all.
Always thank the poker gods for the emotional tilter, without him you'd have much stiffer competition at the tables.
